I’m not a huge fan of paper flowers. I like the real deal, especially for events such as green weddings. That said, these might change my mind…

The paper rose bouquet above is made from recycled pages of old books. Obviously if you’re planning a literary themed wedding, this is perfect, but it’s also great if you’re looking to reduce your real flower footprint, or if eco-flowers aren’t readily available where you live.

Each individual bloom is handcut, rolled and glued by Red Zebra Designs. Each bouquet has approximately 60 rosettes included plus due to the handmade nature, each bouquet is one of a kind.

These would also make great sustainable wedding decor!

+ Red Zebra Designs

I’m a list person. Lists help me stay hyper organized and allow me to sleep at night – it’s on paper so I can forget it, you know? So, when it comes to wedding planning with a clear mind, of course I’m going to recommend you make a list, or two, or heck, keep a whole notebook full of ideas.

The problem – most wedding notebooks equal a lot of virgin paper waste. I’ve been searching around for a nice recycled wedding planning book, but keep coming up empty handed. That is, until today when I found this amazing notebook…

The Wedding Organizer from russell+hazel. This beautiful organizer is not only lovely, but functional, as any decent wedding planner should be. Plus, this organizer is eco-friendly, so you can start off your wedding planning on a green note.

All russell+hazel products are made with 100% post-consumer recycled content, from the spirals in their notebooks to the covers of their binders. Additionally, this wedding planning system is designed around a binder that allows you to easily add and remove pages based on what you need. For example, russell+hazel offers a multitude (57 in all) of great FREE wedding planning worksheets that you can download or not – don’t forget to print on recycled paper! In any case though, you can nicely tailor your notebook to suit your needs in this way, rather than starting with an entire wedding book stuffed full of paper you don’t need.

• The Wedding Organizer Notebook Set includes:
• A signature binder
• 12 section tabs with pockets
• Planning notebook
• Organized adhesive note set
• Sheet protectors
• 2 business card pages
• 10 8-1/2 x 11″ pages
• 5 multi format pages

russell+hazel offers other goodies for weddings too, for example a great example of how to create a fresh and unique guest book, goods for grooms and they carry many other wedding products as well.

+ Wedding Organizer

+ russell+hazel

If you’re planning an eco-friendly wedding, one of the first steps you need to take is label education. Not all green labels and terms are created equal, and it can get confusing. For example, are those wedding favors you found organic, recycled, sustainable or natural? Which is best?

You need to know which terms are best because you’re going to run into label issues when it comes to lighting, food, wedding attire, paper products, decor, jewelry and much more.

Here are the key terms you’ll need to have an eco-friendly wedding…

ORGANIC: Organic can, and cannot be an actual eco-term. When partnered with the USDA organic seal, you can be sure you’re getting real organics. However, keep in mind that the term organic, and the USDA organic seal can only be applied to agricultural items, or items that are grown, for example cotton used for clothing and textiles; body care products containing plants, herbs or flowers; soy used for candles; flowers and of course food.

Organic is also sometimes applied to jewelry, but when used this way, organic means the style of jewelry, it’s not a sustainable term at this point.

• When is organic truly organic?
• Organic wine & organic bubbly
• Organic vs. green body care products

SUSTAINABLE: Sustainable is a real term, and it can define truly eco-friendly products, but you have to be careful. What sustainable is not, is an official label. Anyone can call their product sustainable, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better for you or the planet. True sustainable materials or products mean items that can be created, or harvested with less of an impact on the planet.

For example, plastic plates are not sustainable because plastic is made with non-renewable oil. Plates made with recycled plastic or easily renewable bamboo would be a better sustainable choice. Another example is paper. Virgin paper invitations, made from trees are not a sustainable choice, because it harms the environment to cut down whole forests just to make paper. On the flip side (the sustainable side) would be treeless paper, recycled paper or paper made from alternative, easy to grow crops, like hemp. Reclaimed wood products is another sustainable example.

GREEN: In terms of labels, “Green” means nothing. There are no official green product labels. Green is a marketing term more than anything. That said, a company may still be truly eco-friendly if they say they’re green.

Example of when “green” is used right: a honey company calls themselves “green.” They aren’t certified organic, but do use organic methods for harvesting their honey (if a company makes less than $5,000 a year, they can be organic, but not certified). This company also use recycled jars and they print their labels with non-toxic ink on recycled paper. They also offset shipping emissions. This would be an actual green company.

Example of when “green” is used wrong: a soap company markets themselves as “green.” While this company does use some lavender in their soap, it’s not organic and they also use chemicals and non-organic essential oils in their soap. They wrap their soap in recycled paper, but then double wrap that soap in plastic. They call themselves “green” because of the recycled paper, but they’re really misusing the term, and aren’t actually all that eco-friendly.

Often a company will claim a product is sustainable, green or eco-friendly when in fact, it’s anything but. That’s called greenwashing, and you should learn to avoid it.

NATURAL OR ECO-FRIENDLY: Natural and eco-friendly are not a real eco-term. Neither has an official label and both are used in much the same way as “green.”

RECYCLED: Recycled products like paper, cotton and glass abound. What makes recycled products green is the fact that you’re reusing items, not simply tossing them in a landfill. Keep in mind that some recycled products are better than others. For example, you can find 100% recycled paper invitations or 30% recycled paper invites. Aim for products that use more, not less recycled content.

RECLAIMED: Reclaimed is not an official label, but you will see it related to some wedding products and it can be a true sustainable term. For example, sometimes a jewelry maker will say, “Reclaimed” when talking about a piece made with found glass or recycled silver. Reclaimed and recycled are often used interchangeably, but they’re not exactly the same.

FSC CERTIFIED: This is a real label from the Forest Stewardship Council. A products bearing the FSC logo guarantees that the product is made with wood from a certified well-managed forest. FSC-certified products such as paper, furniture, wedding gifts, cake toppers, cosmetics and kitchenware are available.

EFFICIENT: Efficient is used with regards to energy and water issues most of the time. For example, energy efficient LED lighting is a green wedding choice. Plants and flowers that need less water to grow, would be water efficient.

BIODEGRADABLE: Biodegradable is a huge green buzz word right now, but it’s not really all that eco-friendly. There are MANY problems with purchasing biodegradable wedding products. You’re much better off purchasing products that actually go away when they’re used up, such as cookies, bird seed favors or sugar art than purchasing biodegradable products.

Learn about the problems with biodegradable products.

Learn more…

• Learn about eco-friendly wedding flower labels.
• Grow Your Own Green Wedding – labels not needed.
• Learn about green wedding rings.

[usda organic seal image via Organic Trade Association]

Your wedding cake is a big part of your wedding party. You want your wedding cake to be eco-friendly and special. Here’s how to manage both.

1. Choose organic – supporting organic food is an important green choice. There’s no better time to say you support organics than at your wedding. You can usually ask custom wedding cake bakeries to use organic ingredients, even if they don’t advertise as specifically organic.

2. Go local – locally made, seasonally made cakes and locally acquired ingredients are much greener than shipping in a cake or ingredients. If you’re making your own wedding cake, you can even make filling with berries found at local pick-your-own farms which will also cut down on packaging. A reusable bucket works!

3. Design green – one of the most unique aspects of each wedding cake is the design of course. You can use natural design aspects such as organic candied flowers or fresh organic flowers. You can use safe edible herbs and leaves, pretty branches, or even decorate a wedding cake with reclaimed thrift store jewelry. You can also consider growing some of your own flowers for the cake. Check out this amazing naturally decorated wedding cake!

4. Buy Fair Trade – with a chocolate or nut-based cake, Fair Trade is a green step you can take. Sugar, bananas, berries and many other cake-minded ingredients can also be certified Fair Trade. To learn what’s available in Fair Trade visit Equal Exchange or TransFair.

5. Top it off right – an eco-friendly wedding cake topper is a must and it’s super easy to find one you love. There are tons of choices for sustainable wedding cake toppers out there, such as sugar topper, organic flowers, sustainable wood and more. One green solution is to reuse a topper that a close friend used.

6. Set it up – Make a DIY cake stand or cupcake stand with recycled materials or buy a sustainable cake stand. One eco-friendly route is used, another is to make sure you buy a cake stand you’ll use again.

7. Go vegan – animal-free is very eco-friendly. And yes, even tasty. Some cake bakeries will substitute vegan ingredients if asked or you can make your own vegan wedding cake.

Bella Cupcake Couture offers beautiful cupcake wrappers printed with soy inks on recycled linen paper

8. Go paper free – if making wedding cupcakes, consider zero wrappers; non-stick cupcake pans can be used to bake perfectly paper-free cupcakes. If you really must have cupcake wraps, aim for wraps made with recycled paper.

9. Small & sweet - do you really need a humongous wedding cake? Maybe, if you have a ton of guests, but really consider how big a cake you need before using more resources than necessary. See a wedding cake size planner.

10. Skip it - sometimes no cake is the most eco-friendly. Especially if you skip it with reason. For example, my brother had pie at his wedding (he loves pie). It’s silly to have cake just to meet tradition. You could plan a very cool and eco-friendly dessert table vs. a cake. Desserts rock because many, such as little chocolates or other small baked goods can double as take-home favors.

[top wedding cake image via Flickr user WordRidden]

You certainly don’t have to have a green wedding. It’s your day so you can and should have the wedding you want, even if it’s not so eco-friendly. However, there are many excellent reasons why you should aim for a greener wedding. Following are the top ten…

1. Your wedding is a lifelong choice:

Think about it; break-ups aside, a wedding really does last forever. You’ve got the wedding rings which do make a serious lifelong statement about your green (or not so green) ethics. People will see that ring on your finger for a very long time, so why not invest in an eco-friendly ring choice?

You’ve got the memories along with saved treasures, such as the invites and dress, which hopefully will be amazing no matter what sort of wedding you throw, but wouldn’t it be awesome to look back on your big event and know that you made the best possible choices for the earth? When you choose a green wedding or a conventional wedding you are making a statement that lasts a long, long time, and once you choose you can’t go back and re-do it.

2. Green weddings can save you money and cut stress:

Green weddings done wrong can cost way more than traditional weddings. However, a green wedding done perfectly should cost considerably less than other weddings. Consumer Affairs notes that the average wedding racks up $25,000 of debt for newlyweds and that 80% of couples say, “money” is their prime source of stress from the wedding.
Why go there? Green weddings done right mean you buy less, focus more on real meaning vs. bling and get to lower costs and stress all at the same time.

3. You should be in charge!:

It’s easy to get sucked into a wedding planner’s ideas of the perfect wedding and along the way you’ll lose your individuality and end up spending more money. Because green weddings are a newer sort of event, green weddings take much more thinking on your part. You’ll need to make decisions and do some research, but what you gain is a sense of involvement and responsibility for your own plans. Planning a green wedding means you’re far less likely to get caught up in another person’s ideas and stay focused on your own ideals instead. End result – the wedding you want, not the wedding someone else thinks you should have.

4. Green weddings afford you the possibility making a difference for the earth:

Weddings overall are such huge events that they allow for real, significant opportunities to either one, make the world a little better or two, make it a whole lot worse. Resources such as materials, energy, water and more can be splurged on or conserved. Pollution can be reduced (or increased). Your choices add up as beneficial for the planet as a whole or you can make choices that use too many resources and create a negative impact. Which sort of wedding would you like to remember?

5. Green businesses only grow when people support them:

Green businesses are growing, but oh so slowly. The only reason eco-friendly companies stick around is because people frequent them. The only reason costs will ever go down for green products and services is if consumers demand more green products and services. The choices you make for your wedding support green businesses and green consumer economy for the long-term.

6. Support organics:

Organic food and products are better for your health and better for the planet’s health. Best of all when you choose organic you stick it directly to companies who don’t care that they produce harmful, toxic products. Additionally, when considering the menu, organic food is fresher and tastes better, so you’ll have a wedding menu to remember when you go organic.

7. Educate all your friends and family at once:

Your wedding is one of the few times all your best friends and family will be together, in the same place, at the same time. This is a huge chance to teach everyone a thing or two about green living. Sure you can talk to your family about making smart green choices at any time of the year, but imagine the impact an entire green event will have.

8. Green is beautiful and unique:

Green weddings by nature just seem so much prettier than typical weddings. The dresses, the flowers, the creativity behind cool eco-friendly wedding decor – it’s all so lovely. Pictures speak better than words though – check out these amazing green weddings to see just how gorgeous green really is.

• A Summer Wedding
• Fina + Nathan’s Eco-Chic Wedding
• Nick + Nicole
• Kate & David
• Real Green Wedding
• Garden Wedding

9. Green weddings are creative and fun:

Along with being beautiful, green weddings allow you to be creative. There are plenty of green wedding DIY projects out there that can add a splash of special to your event. The benefits of creativity are way underrated and a green wedding can push you back toward those benefits. Plus you’ll have fun and end up with an unforgettable event.

10. Start a healthy life together:

If for no other reason, green weddings rock because they’re healthy. Organic food, lower stress, less pollution and all the other perks mentioned above are not only green, but ultimately more healthy for you, your soon-to-be spouse, your future kiddos and the earth. There’s no better way to say you love someone than with a heaping dose of healthy living – green weddings offer you this and more.

Why are you planning a green wedding?

Using edible flowers in your wedding menu is such an excellent idea. Not only are most edible flowers tasty, but they’re an eco-friendly meal addition and really are lovely in food dishes and make a typical menu pop with color and unique style. Of course you can make candied edible flowers and use them atop wedding cakes or wedding cupcakes (even give them as favors) but fresh edible flowers are a hit too.

Here are some tips along with some amazing dish ideas.

Tips for using edible flowers in your green wedding menu:

• Safety first – not all flowers are safe to eat and many are seriously toxic. Never eat a flower unless you are 100% sure that it’s safe to eat. I suggest working with an expert caterer (who has worked with flowers in the past) or picking up a good book on the matter, such as, The Forager’s Harvest: A Guide to Identifying, Harvesting, and Preparing Edible Wild Plants or The Edible Flower Garden. One more note, flowers in magazine menu spreads look lovely, but many food magazines use flowers merely as decoration. Don’t put flowers on your menu just because you see them in a magazine.

• Not all parts of all edible flowers are safe to eat. For example, you can eat lavender and rose petals, but not the rest of the plant. Again, refer to an expert.

• Don’t just aim for color – you may want to match your wedding colors, but not all edible flowers deliver the same flavor. Some edible flowers are more bitter or spicy or just not as sweet and yummy as others. Taste and looks, not just looks is a big consideration.

• Always use organic flowers if you’re going to eat them.

• Remove stamens and styles from edible flowers before eating. The pollen may cause an allergic reaction in some and can detract from the flower’s flavor. Plus it looks unattractive to have pollen dust floating around the table.

• Flowers have a sort shelf-life. If you’re using edible flowers in your green wedding menu, make sure to purchase them right before the wedding (if you’re planning on a DIY menu). You can store edible flowers on moist paper, inside a sealed container in the fridge. If your flowers look iffy and limp, revive them by placing them, well, floating them in very cold water for a few minutes. This should be done soon before you’ll use them.

Beautiful edible flower ideas:

1. My new favorite edible flower idea of all time is lovely Floral Pasta. The folks at Kitchen Caravan were oh so clever to come up with this. I’d never thought about something like this. I think it’s a smashing idea for a pasta dish at a green wedding, especially if you stick to nice white or wine sauces so the beautiful color shines through.
2. To see amazing ideas for Lavender Blueberry Soup, Edible Flower Cream Cheese Spread, Chicken with Lavender and Honey, Rose Petal Ice Cream, Strawberry-Rose Bellini, Kedrin’s Golden Corn Muffins with Calendula Petals and more see this great pdf of edible flower recipes.
3. A very modern and pretty salad of goat cheese, asparagus and beet with lovely purple puffs of chives.
4. A Garden of Cocktails: I adore these pretty drinks and your guest will too.
5. All sorts of ideas for various blooming salads. Petal choices, shopping ideas and even tips on growing your own edible flower garden from Sunset.
6. A great starter – Organic Edible Flower Canapés – basic but really pretty idea.

Will you be using edible flowers in your green wedding menu?

[edible flower header image via Flickr user Joye~]

Review summary: There aren’t too many green wedding books on the market. Eco-Chic Weddings is one of the better green wedding books though. There are many pros and very few cons packed into this small, but very useful green wedding manual – although the cover of this book managed to hurl me and my significant other into a massive debate (and by debate I mean argument)… keep reading to learn more.

Product: Eco-Chic Weddings: Simple Tips to Plan an Earth-Friendly, Socially Responsible, Affordable Green Wedding by Emily Elizabeth Anderson; published by Hatherleigh Press, 2007.

Publishers synopsis: “Planning your wedding can be the best time to be eco-friendly. The wedding industry has a huge impact on the global economy and the environment, as wedding parties spend over $125 billion a year in the U.S. alone. Eco-Chic Weddings presents the quick, simple, and easy-to-follow tips you need to make your wedding socially responsible. This indispensable guide gives you the choice, comfort, and chance to share your own unique style for a truly memorable wedding.

Going green doesn’t mean you need to spend the green. Eco-Chic Weddings provides all the resources you need to create your environmentally friendly and fun celebration on a budget. From the location to the dress to the menu, there are dozens of easy ways to make your wedding beautiful and still reflect your personal beliefs in sustainable living. Eco-Chic Weddings will show you how to craft your perfect day.”

Cost: Eco-Chic Weddings will only set you back $10.36 – a bargain compared to the wedding costs

What’s covered in Eco-Chic Weddings:

I’d say the author covers just about everything you need to know in order to have a greener and less expensive wedding. Anderson goes through wedding basics, wedding rings, attire, the registry, wedding invitation and favors, flower choices, transportation, the wedding menu and honeymoon. She also has some excellent extra-type chapters covering health and beauty and married life.

There’s an excellent jam packed eco-resources appendix at the end of the book, and although this book is now 4 years old, most of the resources are still handy and relevant.

Perks of Eco-Chic Weddings:

• Printed on 100% recycled paper and with vegetable-based inks.
• Excellent take on the three Rs. I love how every topic covered has a reduce, reuse and recycle slant. This three Rs slant makes it easy to focus on how you might make the best eco-friendly wedding plans just by asking yourself three questions – can I reduce, can I reuse and can I recycle. It’s a good way to live and plan a wedding.
• I like the cost saving aspects of the book. Not only does the author explain why a choice is greener but also how that choice can save you some cash.
• Flexibility is stressed throughout, which I think is awesome because it makes the planning process more chill.
• Interesting facts pepper this book. For instance, I wouldn’t have guessed that October is the most popular wedding month and there are other cool facts as well such as wedding flowers by season.
• Focus on the little things. Not every choice is huge. For example, the author points out that white is not so eco-chic in a gown (due to chemical processes to make the dress so white). Little and big choices a plenty are offered.
• Easy to skim. Nicely placed headers and top-o-page text make this book an easy read and you can browse it in chunks.
• Affordable and slim so it’s a go-anywhere book – and since it tells you all you need to know, you won’t need other books. There are a few other green wedding books I like, but there’s no need to own them all. This is a good one to get if you’d like to plan a budget green wedding.

The BIG debate:

So, when I first got this book about a year ago, Dave, my significant other and me got into this huge flipping argument about it. He walked past my desk when I was working, saw it, and said, “Hey are you reviewing that?” I said yes, I’m planning to eventually. He picked it up, looked at it and said, “I’d NEVER buy this book!”

I was a little stumped and asked why not. He said, “Anderson took all the fun out of the wedding with the cover!” When asked to explain Dave says, “She’s got too many words on there.” Huh? Let’s see what Dave’s talking about…

Um… ok. Dave launched into a long explanation about how weddings should be fun and all those words makes it seem like a green wedding will be entirely too much work. I disagreed, noting that most wedding books have wording as such on the cover, it’s just that this book has eco-wording. He’s like, “Yeah, it’s too much responsibility and not enough fun.”

He was adamant about this. Dave likes weddings and according to him, this book’s cover was sucking the fun and joy out of weddings.  When I asked what he’d like to see on the cover he said, “How to have an easy and fun green wedding – period.” Being me, I don’t think being socially responsible or eco-friendly sucks the fun out of anything. I don’t get the reasoning. In any case we went 40 rounds of I’m right, you’re wrong and finally agreed to disagree.

But in case you, for whatever reason, have the same thoughts as Dave, you should know that being socially responsible and eco-friendly will not take away but add to your wedding day. ALL weddings can be stressful, but honestly by committing to a greener wedding, I think you lower the stress level considerably. Eco-friendly is less in the simplest of terms and less is almost always easier than more.

Dave’s on board with green weddings by the way – I guess he’ll just need another book. Sigh.

Were there any negatives?

• No digital version available from what I can gather.
• Needs images. Eco-friendly books, in my experience, unless about houses and decor, tend to contain few to zero images. What’s up with that? I like images in tip-style books and wish this one in particular had some.
• A little checklist would be useful. I’m a list person, so having a checklist about weddings set up for me would be handy. I didn’t see one in here – although I’ve been known to miss stuff.

Overall score:

4.5 out of 5 little trees. An excellent score for a great little green wedding planner. I’d highly suggest this book if you want to plan an affordable and eco-friendly wedding.

Learn more:

• Buy Eco-Chic Weddings: Simple Tips to Plan an Earth-Friendly, Socially Responsible, Affordable Green Wedding.
• Visit Emily Anderson at her Etsy shop – oh yeah, author and Etsy artist. You can’t beat that!
• Read the Good With Style blog and learn about Anderson’s sweet new book (from the looks of things) Eco-Chic Home.
• Follow Emily Anderson on Twitter.

See my green product rating system and green product rating criteria or read more green product reviews.

There are many reasons to choose organic wine and bubbly for your eco-friendly wedding celebration. First of all know your choices -  later we’ll look at some specifics, but just to be clear you can choose basic organic wine (no bubbles), organic champagne and sparkling wines (all are different). Below are just some of the reasons why you should look for organic wine and bubbly for your green wedding.

An excellent taste experience: Organic bubbly and wine flavor far surpasses conventional versions. Organic farmers take plenty of time to create better soil before they grow their fruit. Better soil leads to better fruit which of course leads to an overall better beverage. When considering wine alone, healthy soil and special soil amendments mean that organic wine tends to have a bolder more intense flavor than conventional wine.

Pesticides don’t belong at any celebration: Honestly, why drink pesticides if you don’t have to? Especially on your very special wedding day. Certified organic beverages have zero pesticides to dampen your wedding. The USDA notes that any wine or other beverage labeled with 100% Organic, ”Must contain 100 percent organically produced ingredients and have been processed using organically produced processing aids.” See the USDA wine labeling guide (pdf) for more information.

Speaking of pesticides: While it’s nuts to allow pesticides to pollute your body, pesticides also mean bad news for the planet. Grapes are one of the most heavily sprayed (with pesticides) crops. In fact, year in a year out, grapes make the dirty dozen list. Not only do pesticides affect your body but they affect the soil, air and water (used to grow other crops). Pesticides also harm farmers and their children. When you choose organics for your wedding and all year round you’re not only keeping yourself healthy but also helping to keep farmers (and farmers children) healthy.

Prevent soil erosion: I know, nothing is more glamorous than soil erosion! But seriously, if soil erosion isn’t something you’re currently thinking about, it should be because it does affect you, your health and the health of your loved ones in ways you probably can’t even imagine. Not only is massive soil erosion responsible for planetary woes including land damage estimated to be $400 billion per year and biodiversity problems with crops but erosion increases the amount of dust carried by wind, which creates air pollution issues and can carry human infectious disease organisms, including anthrax and tuberculosis. Sadly there’s a lot more at stake – learn more about soil erosion.

Organic wine and sparkling beverages are the perfect way to celebrate while helping to eliminate all these issues above. It’s a far more lovable choice for your green wedding. When choosing a wine or other sparkling beverage make sure it comes from a sustainable vineyard or certified organic company.

More help:

• Look for biodynamic wines.
• A great F&Q about organic wine from the Organic Wine Company.
• Clearing up the Confusion about Organic Wine
• Appellation Wine and Spirits – this unconventional wine store focuses on producers that depart from convention and make wine that is organic or biodynamic. They don’t just carry wine though and also make a point of sharing exactly how each product they sell is sustainable or not.
• Organic Wine Journal

Just an FYI – I’ll be missing in action until Friday. I actually have a wedding to attend a day from now (on top of an already busy work week) and no dress. And yes, while naked is eco-friendly I hardly think that would make for nice wedding pictures. Hence me taking time off to finish up some other work and find a dress.

I’ll be back with something wonderful and green on Friday but until then here are some pretty little eco-friendly wedding items you might enjoy. Oh, and I know, the chocolate is not OH SO pretty, but I’ve been having crazy chocolate cravings so…

1. Heart Filigree Turquoise Sea Glass Locket Necklace
2. Plantable Bird Tags
3. Organic lavender & rosebud favor sachets
4. DIY wheat & roses bouquet
5. Belov(ed) – lovely vintage hair pin set
6. Organic and Fair Trade chocolate lip balm favors

My sister has been in oh, about 27 weddings over the last ten or so years (that estimate might be low). She’s recently started complaining about how she’s had to buy all these bridesmaid dresses costing anywhere from $150-$300+, not to mention shoes and worst of all, most of them she’ll NEVER wear again. It sucks when your bride pal picks a dress you hate right?

One might argue that she could simply refuse to be in these weddings, but she’s a good friend and wants to make everyone happy. What her complaining has inspired me to do is to look up this odd tradition because personally, I’ve never understood it and this is one of those old school traditions that’s just not very eco-friendly.

She so won't be wearing this dress again - unless maybe someone asks her to the prom...

At The Knot they note, “Bridesmaids are generally expected to pay for their own wedding-day ensemble (shoes and jewelry included).” Being that the Knot is all things weddings, I expected more. I looked around and The Knot also says, “Your maids will have to pay for their own ensembles — from the dress to the shoes to the jewelry. They’ll pony up for the shower and the bachelorette party, wedding weekend accommodations, and gifts. All in all, their pocketbooks will take a beating. So remember to be nice to them in return.” I’ll say!

At another wedding site it’s noted, “The most traditional approach, approved by etiquette gurus of the 1960s, is that the bride chooses the bridesmaid dresses, and the bridesmaids grit their teeth and wear them without a murmur of protest.”

Hmmm. I looked and looked and basically everywhere I turned it said common etiquette is that bridesmaids pay for their own attire. Finally I found one gal who was questioning this tradition too and who also, was in fact paying for her bridesmaid dresses.

What’s the big deal?

First of all, this whole wacky tradition just goes against common sense. You might throw a party and tell everyone, “Hey, bring a six-pack!” but you don’t ever throw a party and tell only your best pals to bring 40 six packs each. You also don’t tell people what to wear then make them pay for whatever you pick out. WHO does that in real life? Why should your wedding be different? This wedding was presumably your choice, it’s your party, you should pay for the wedding. We’re all adults – admit it, this makes sense.

The most common argument I’ve heard for bridesmaids paying is that, “We picked out an awesome dress that they can wear again and again so they should pay” – this statement usually comes from the bride mind you who means “Me” not “We.” I’ve got a slew of bridesmaids who will argue that they’ve never ever worn that “awesome” dress again.

Another argument for bridesmaids paying I’ve commonly seen is, “I’m having so many bridesmaids that it’d be impossible for me to pay.” Well, in real life if you can’t afford something you find a better way (hopefully). 

Most of all though, this just isn’t a very eco-friendly practice. If you seriously aren’t going to wear a dress but once, it’s such a waste of energy, materials and the money is like the cherry on the cake. I don’t think you can honestly have a green wedding and know that a bulk of the clothing in said wedding is one-time fare only. 

For my wedding, I’d likely one, not have an actual wedding party set-up anyhow – the day should be more about you and your partner, and two, if I did happen to have a wedding party, I’d just say, wear something nice sure, but but that’s as far as I’d go. People will be more comfortable and happy if they can wear what they like – and on your wedding day don’t you want happy guests?

Sigh. Maybe I’m missing something… Still, if you want to balk tradition and some heavy costs you could go sans bridesmaids or you could choose some eco-friendly dresses that aren’t so overly fancy so that people will really be able to use them again. I’d gather some ideas (just ideas) but then have your bridesmaids choose and then I’d pay. If my bridesmaids didn’t want to keep their dress I’d just make sure they were donated to a decent cause.

Later I’ll be back with some $100 (or less) dresses that are eco-friendly and still nice enough for a wedding.

What do you think? Is it really in green wedding style to choose one-time dresses? AND what do you think about making bridesmaids pay for their own dresses – good idea or not so much?